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Welcome to my blog. Click around and explore. And I would love to hear from you!
All tagged Christianity
The first Christians shook the world, not by gaining power but by freely giving it away. Money, possessions, influence, even relationships were counted as nothing compared to the great hope that they had in Christ Jesus. They lifted each other up, not out of pity or because it gave them a warm feeling, but because there was no divide between your need and my resources.
In this instance, Jesus was faced with the unbearable hypocrisy of those who claimed to worship the True God being reduced to tricksters and finger-pointers because they couldn’t begin to entertain the notion that this was their long-awaited Messiah and that He might prefer the company of drunkards and fishermen to their own spotless dinner parties. And this is what gets me– Jesus’ anger was mingled with grief. Even in the midst of calling them out for the lunacy of their treatment of fellow souls, he mourned that they would never understand the freedom they could have experienced if they could just set down their pride and certainty long enough to accept it.
Grace is receiving the very last thing that we expect, like an unexpectedly warm November afternoon.
Just to avoid any misconceptions from the start, I am not a runner. I never have been. If I had to put myself into a category (which on principle I never do), I would say I fall squarely in the realm of “brisk walkers.” When I do run, it’s with the excessive energy of someone who is trying to make up for a month of non-running in one go, resulting in a burst of speed and a quick collapse.
But once in a while the stars align. When I have just the right playlist, my Nikes are already out of my closet, the weather isn’t too hot or to cold or too dry or too humid, I think, I should go for a run. Last Friday was one of those rare occasions.
The name of one of my favorite characters in the Bible is never mentioned. A full chapter in the Gospel of John is devoted to his singular encounter with Jesus, but no name. All he got was a self-explanatory title and unembellished back story rolled into one uncreative moniker: The man born blind.
You know that feeling, when you’re walking up a staircase in the dark and you take one more step than you need to? I call it the phantom stair. You have imagined that stair so vividly that it’s absence feels like a betrayal. Instead of landing on something solid, your foot sinks through air. For a moment you wonder if it will ever make contact with the ground again, or if it will just keep sinking forever.
I think unrequited love, as they call it, is a lot like that moment.
I was tired. Emotionally, physically, spiritually exhausted.
And for a moment I wondered what would happen if I just stopped caring. Stopped trying so hard to accomplish things that everyone says are impossible. Stopped being such an overachiever. What if I just stopped thinking so much?
I can get so cynical. So negative. And when it builds up to a breaking point, I say things and react to things in ways that I instantly regret. And I hate it. I hate hearing myself rant. Hate my sarcasm and self-congratulatory speeches and passive aggression.
And most of all, I hate that I let it slip that I am an angry, critical person.
Love pushes against all of our natural instincts. Love is always giving of itself and never expecting anything in return. Love thrives when it spends itself. Love never complains, never holds back affection, never holds a grudge. Love takes all our abuses and returns them with kindness and compassion. Love is never destructive, but always mending what has been broken.
Unfortunately, we are not made up entirely of love. We are an incomprehensible fusion of love and lust, envy and imagination, optimism and dread, virtue and vice. This is the nature of humanity, these hybrid creatures with immortal souls inside deteriorating bodies.
It's so easy to think that if our plan is good, that everything will work out. The assumption is reflected in our prayers. We pray that will God will bless the plans that we've made instead of asking Him to take control- even if that means interrupting our plans.
